I used to be a social freak, what about you?

Admit it, at some point in your life, whenever you invited someone over for the very first time, you probably got really nervous thinking, "What if they think I'm a freak? What if I'm not the person they thought I was? What if we have awkward silence...?" Well, you're not alone. I'm still like that, I used to be afraid of being judged, even now, I get scared to reply to texts or answer calls or invite someone over... It's nerve racking, so I just shield myself away from all conversations.


Today, I invited my dear friends Kara Bratten and Madi Lane, together we make the Three Muskateers<3, and we're going to hang out then go to Fuji. I got all excited and I got ready, then I panicked. What if they don't think I am who I said I was? What if I get all awkward and weird? But with them, I'm sure I won't. I love them to death and they mean everything to me. I don't think I would live with myself if I hurt them. I can't even handle upsetting Kara Nicholls, my better half, or Melissa Pratt, my best friend. I love them, but I've been pushing them away and hiding behind my cellphone(it's my cover-up, to save me from being awkward.) So, I hope I'm not awkward.

I suck at plans too, just because my mom never gives me a yes or no answer, it's always the Look-Of-Death or just totally ignore me. That's cool too. So, I get nervous whenever I ask my mom if I can hang out with someone, even my own boyfriend who can drive, because she's always so rude and blunt about it and it sucks. I'm also a hot mess and lose stuff so easily! I left my wallet in Luke's car last night. Stupid me! I'm so high maintenance, well, that's at least how I feel sometimes. Oh well. If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best.

Do you ever get weird about silence and nonsense like that? So do I. It's weird to just sit there silently, it's like...Awkward. Ya know? Yeah, it's weird. I hate it just as much as you probably do, maybe. It's like if you don't say something, they'll leave and never talk to you again. Apparently, that's not true, because my mom says that sometimes people just need time to think.

Do you understand? Do you get me? I love people and conversations. Do you too? Who makes you not feel awkward? Flip sand, :)

                                                     -Reid<3